Imposter Syndrome & What You Can Do About It
The term imposter syndrome has been thrown around a lot recently but I think there’s been some confusion about what it really means. Generally speaking, it’s defined as a collection of persistent, faulty beliefs that turn into chronic self-doubt about your intelligence, competence, and capabilities, despite your solid track record of high achievement and success, which causes you to worry about being found out as a fraud. Basically, even though you’ve been kicking ass in your career, you attribute your success to external factors like luck or good timing, and essentially believe that you’ve fooled everyone into thinking you know what you’re doing when you feel like you don’t.
It might sound illogical and a little silly but it’s a really common phenomenon that impacts 70% of people at some point in their careers.
I think is important to keep in mind is that imposter syndrome isn’t really about WHAT you think you can do; it’s about WHO you think you are and who you think you’re supposed to be. That “supposed to be” part is based on extremely high, unrealistic expectations that are rarely ever met and lead to feelings of shame, sometimes even when you succeed. It can be a vicious cycle. So what can be done to break it?
If you do a quick Google search, here are some common strategies that are supposed to help you overcome imposter syndrome:
- Remind yourself that you’re not alone in feeling the way you do.
- “Fake it til you make it.”
- Focus on your strengths.
- Celebrate your wins.
I’m sure these suggestions are made with the best of intentions but they don’t actually address the real problem at the heart of imposter syndrome: your thoughts.
According to Dr. Valerie Young, a leading expert and researcher on imposter syndrome, “The only way to stop feeling like an imposter is to stop thinking like one.” Easier said than done but with the right strategies, it’s very possible.
So with that in mind, I’d like to offer y’all a four-step process to help you change your imposter thoughts.
Step 1: Self-Awareness
You have to know what you’re working with before you can change it. This step is about coming off of autopilot and paying attention to how your brain reacts to things.
Most people think that their emotions are reactions to their environment but in actuality, it’s our THOUGHTS about our environment and ourselves that trigger our emotions. The next time you catch yourself feeling like an imposter, write down these five things to help you start to identify your triggers:
- Circumstance — What was the incident or situation that triggered your imposter feelings? What were you doing? Who were you with?
- Thought — What did you think about yourself in that circumstance, and the circumstance itself?
- Feeling(s) — What did the thoughts make you FEEL? Keep it simple and use single-word answers like “sad”, “angry”, “disappointed”, etc.
- Action — What did you DO or not do because of those emotions/how you felt?
- Result — What was the result of your action/inaction? Is it the result you wanted?
If you have difficulty with this exercise, download my free Imposter Syndrome Workbook for more detailed instructions and some examples.
Step 2: Challenge the Imposter Thought
If you want to feel differently about your circumstances, you have to think differently, and that starts by finding evidence to suggest your imposter thoughts aren’t true. This requires answering one simple question for each thought you want to change: Where’s the evidence that your thought is true? And when I say “evidence”, I mean what FACTS do you have that would be uncontested in a court of law, to suggest your thought is true.
Step 3: Choose A New Thought
Weakening your imposter thought is great, but now you need to give your brain a new thought to believe. This requires going through the same process you used in step one, but now you’re going to be intentional about how you want things to play out. Start by thinking about what you want as a result. What action would you need to take to achieve that result? How would you need to feel about that action in order to follow through on it? What would you need to think about yourself and your circumstances in order to feel that way?
The key to this strategy is that you actually have to BELIEVE the new thought. It doesn’t have to be a positive thought if you’re not quite there yet; instead, you can try a neutral thought that’s factual and doesn’t create any strong feelings. This may or may not be enough to motivate you to take your desired action, but if not that’s okay, it’s still a step in the right direction and you can build on it over time.
- Circumstance — What was the incident or situation that triggered your imposter feelings? What were you doing? Who were you with?
- Thought — What do you want to think about yourself in that circumstance?
- Feeling(s) — What do you want your thoughts to make you FEEL?
- Action — What do you want to DO or NOT DO because of those emotions?
- Result — What result do you want?
Step 4: Practice, Practice, Practice!
The final step is to practice your new thought on a daily basis. You can do this by setting a daily reminder in your phone, keeping a daily journal, leaving a sticky note on your bathroom mirror, anything that can help you regularly practice associating your new thought with the circumstances that triggered your imposter syndrome.
If you were expecting a quick fix or a simple life-changing habit from this blog post, then you need to adjust your expectations around what it actually takes to master your own mind and truly overcome imposter syndrome. When you decide to run a marathon, you don’t just wake up the next day and run it; you have to train. Or if you don’t like the marathon metaphor, think of it like learning a new language where you have to build on your skills over time in order to communicate effectively. The point is that this kind of work takes time and commitment to regular practice, but I promise you that it’s more than worth it and you will blow your own mind when you realize what you can do when you get out of your own way.
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Cheers, my lovelies.
